Daddy's Girl

I had mentioned in an earlier post that I had lost both of my parents.  My mother passed away less than two years ago, but my father passed away 20 years ago when I was 11.  It is so weird to think that you have lived more years of your life without someone you love than you did with them their.  That dawned on me my senior year of college when I realized I'd lived more years without my father than I did with him.

Even though I was young I still have very vivid memories of my daddy.  I can still hear him telling me some of his jokes or feel him giving me a bear hug.  I was young, but everyone knew I was a daddy's girl from day one.  When I lost him it left a big hole in my heart.  Like with any loss time heals things and the hole gets smaller.  You learn to let other people in and love you, but the hole never closes completely.  I'm glad of that for two reasons.  1. Even though it hurts I feel better knowing my heart hasn't completely turned to stone because I can still miss him.  2. The thing that probably makes me the saddest is there are so many wonderful people in my life who will never have the opportunity to know this wonderful man, because they came into my life after I lost him.  Talking about him and remembering him keeps a little bit of him alive for me.